Voila~!
And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
- Matthew 11:12
I will take it by force.
i'm a lucky girl this year. i got closer to God (not close enough but i'm trying), met the best people in the world and managed to promote (that's not luck, its a pure miracle). now its time to make special mention of the people who changed my life and contributed to making the liane you see today.
the councillors.
kha: thanks for being the pres. thanks for offering a shoulder to cry on though i never really explained why i cried so much. tfor wetting my shoulders in return. thanks for loving God. for being brave enough to rise up admist possible persecution and standing strong to your belief in Him.
fei: thanks for that horribly tear-jerking msg on your blog (you cow). for loving Him despite all that happened to you this year. for your auntie-ness. for being so loud, stampeding in mac's and deafening all those within a 100 m radius of you. for crying to me.
kumar: for being the lamest person alive. the only who can crack me up with less than 5 words. for being b!g. for working with me for blazers and bash and everything else. for telling me everything you did. for putting a smile on my face just when i thought my smile was lost.
wanling: thanks for being my boss. for being small. for doing all the shit work and never complaining. for being so great at doing admin/log work.
sushi: thanks for all the suntans, bikinis and trips down to far east (the bikini adventure). for asking the funniest questions. for cracking me up. and looking for all those damn sponsers.
fifi: thanks for being a cockroach/council pet. for all the lame-ness in you. all our shopping trips. getting stuck in all the surf shops. for rolling around the floor like its damn clean. making a fool outta ourselves in ralph lauren. doing dance together.
jay: thanks for being curly. need i say more?
nat: thanks for being a true bitch when you needed to. for being one of the admin/log queens. for putting up with us always throwing the log to you. for looking for sponsers for prom.
mar: thanks for our shopping chemistry. for all the endless girl-talk. for being my sexy babe.
kur: thanks for being a bimbo. for being the sargas oha with me. for all the bimbo talk. for letting me diss you like crazy.
sufi: thanks for going to the acjc invest. for all your lame/porno crap. all your baggy can-stuff-a-whole-damn-farm-in-your-pants clothes.
stuck: thanks for doing all the shit work for orientation. for being damn lame. for giving me advice when i needed some.
halim: thanks for being the admin/log king. for all the times you let us poke fun at you. for all your rah-rah talks and eye-popping (pun intended) ltc games. for being damn cute.
04a202
liz: thanks for all our lecture-ponning adventures. for all the study times. for the shopping. all the laughter in class. spider bashing.
sam: thanks for being short (so i can bully you). for being the other spitfire of the class. for being class rep. for being short (did i mention that already?)
ruffles: thanks for being the next in lineage (socrates -> plato -> aristotle -> ruffles). for being sucha great writer/guitarist/philosopher/friend. for being my bro.
wy: thanks for the changi airport days. for snowy (did i just say that....). for pw. for girl talk.
heart of God church members
peck: thanks for being the other person who can really crack me up. for being the og fan. for being the (poser) rocker. for being so fantastic with the bass. for sharing all your chiobus with me. for being really (really) lame. for listening to my crap. for being part of the integration machines. for loving Him. for being you.
joyce: thanks for being our red team leader. for being around at 4 am in the morning on msn. for having such faith. for trying to wake me up. for praying for me in the middle of the night. for sharing and crying on me. for loving him.
maril: thanks for accepting Him. for being the first person i led to Christ. for being there for me to crap. for being the sargas oha. for having such strength despite all that happened. for standing tall in the midst of uncertainty.
isabel: thanks for being a paedophile. for thinking my brother is cute when i needed someone to adopt him. for the embarrassing ralph lauren adventure. for sharing what happened. for seeking Him in times of distress.
christine: thanks for laughing at/with me. for screaming at the top of your lungs. for being so crazy yet innocent. for loving Him.
dawn: thanks for loving Him. for being part of the jc team. for all the crazy times.
fifi: thanks for making me jealous for having sucha a huge tigger. for letting me stay over at your place the other time. for being part of the integration machines. for leading so many people to Christ. for being a great keyboardist.
jia xin: thanks for being so loud. for having such a high pitched voice. for beng muah chee. for being part of the integration machines. for always crying and reminding me that i should too. for being so responsible. for all your late night pesterings of integration cases. for always loving Him.
boris: thanks for being our shuai-ge. for being damn damn damn lame. for your shanghainese version of eeney meeney miney moe. for trying to be a kid so you can talk to my brother. for being so spiritual.
yong: thanks for being so wise. for taking history too so i can always ask you what to do. for buying me chocs. for being the keyboard machine.
alvyn: for ralph lauren. need i continue?
dom dom: thanks for being my cg leader. for finding out that we were kindergarten sweehearts (brrr..). for being the dua tao. for having a spirituality twice your appetite.
esmonde: thanks for really adopting my brother. for being so great with kids. for buying me breakfast.
my confidants.
julie: thanks for knowing me for 10 years. for sitting beside me for 7 years. for putting up with me for what seems to be lifetime. for letting me know you're always gonna be there, whether i like it or not. for being so damn sarcastic. for being you.
marli: thanks for all the stupid arguments. for being a bitch. for letting out the true bitch in me. for cracking me up in all our (bitchy) convos. for being so anorexic i can tease you non-stop. for all our crap.
ks: for being my shepherd. for working like me. for being the man. for all your spiritual advice. for being one of the greatest drummers in church. for teaching me how to love Him. for bringing me back to Him. for being my leader. for taking on my other brother. for doing all those stupid things so people will be led to Christ. for loving Him.
jia yan: thanks for being my lesbo partner. for being my first kcian best fren (tho its against the rules). for all the craziness. for being my fridge. for coming over to my house when i was crying. for letting me run to you and you to me. for being one of the bestest best frens i made this year. for beoing hot babes together. for all our stayovers and pigouts. for talking shit. for being you.
ms yong: thanks for being my TA. for all the hugs i gave you (reluctantly accepted or otherwise). for trying to do a taekwondo on me and finding out that i'm really heavy and strong too. for treating us to lunch. for chauffering us around. for being such a sweet fella. for being so human, baring your emotions when other teachers won't. for sticking up for the council. for giving me a second chance. for sticking up for me. for believing in us. for wanting nothing but the best for us. for being the best TA i ever had.
ms ee: thanks for letting me run to you everytime something happens. for being the first person i'll run to cuz i know you'd always be there. for listening to all my crap and giving me great advice all the same. for always making me feel better. for being my hot babe. for letting me hug you too. for answering all my emails. for waiting to catch me everytime i fall. for putting up with my crap. for teaching me anything you could; beyond econs (which i flunked all the same). for sticking up for me. for teaching me about subordination. for knowing that i'll tell you everything, the only question was what time of the day. for taking me to church on a saturday for that fantastic sermon when i needed God. for waiting during lecture after i talked to him. for being in school when i needed you. for being a loyal servant of God. for always leading me back to him. for being you.
you: oh man...i don't know how to start. okay. thanks for being my best fren. my soulmate. for understanding me like no one else could. for being able to read me like a book. for putting up with my crap. for all the tears and heartaches. for all our late night talks. for all the arguments, intellectual or emotional. for all the concerts, choir, band and band again. for supper at 85. for harry potter. for leading me back to Christ. for letting me bash your ego every 7 seconds. for attempting to mug together. for pool. for cracking me up. for making me cry. for tigger. for loving God with all your heart, soul and mind. for comforting me everytime i'm down. for being the sweetest guy i ever knew. for being the first guy i ever loved.
______________________________________________________________
knowing that i have greater things in life to achieve, a sea of better people to meet and a lifetime of maturity to attain doesn't make it any less painful. i can tell you i'm fine and i'm over it but i'm not God and yes, i do hurt easily. so despite everything..i'm still crying and i wonder why.
anytime u need a crack, i'll be your nut.
_______________________________________________________________
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone I walk alone I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk aloneI walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
_______________________________________________________________
what an eventful year this has been. i've found my way back to Christ, joined the most fantastic bunch of councillors i've ever worked with, met the greatest people in mjc, a202, council and cp and the craziest bunch of on-fire Christians in heart of God.
i'm a lucky girl, aren't i?
will a tsunami please hit me now.
dancing.
dancing.
meetings.
meetings.
meetings.
ooooh booy. i've danced so much i actually look presentable now. and i'm so tired. school's starting soon and i've accomplished as much as a graduated O level student (for those who don't understand; i.e, nothing).
but heck.
went shopping today. so fun. ralph lauren sale. i can't afford anything at the moment. but was thinking of getting something for my friend's birthday from there.
choices:
1. wallet - $80+
2. shirt - $100+
3. jacket - $113
hmm. so how? so exciting. i love shopping for guys' clothes. hahaha. cuz i can't wear em, i can only get for my frens. damn lah.
anyways. gotta go pack pack.
ciao.
wow whee!! its finally christmas!!! i love christmas!!! and this is the best christmas yet....cuz i'm spending it in the house of the Lord!! isn't that amazing!!?! oh man!!! though i only managed to get prezzies for dan, ms ee n ks....plus small (and i mean really small) gifts for kha, isabel, maril n jia yan....but ya guys know i love ya all right?!?!?!?! hahahaha!!!
sermon yesterday was waaaaaaaaaay cool. i can't wait for today's message!! wow whee!! that's so cool!!
ooh yeah. i bought 2 mango tops and mango jeans...yay!! my mum's weird...she splurged $95 on me but refused to give me $20...and she got me some fox pants too. sheesh.
anyways...lets do a survey!!
WHAT ARE U FEELING RITE NOW?
= happy!! nostalgic..missing someone?
WHY ARE U FEELING THAT?
= cuz its christmas u doofus!
ONE THING THAT U DONT LIKE
= people who victimise themselves?
ONE THING THAT ANNOYS U
= look above
ONE PERSON YOU HAVE BEEN THINKING
= all my friends!! jia yan!! dan!! kha!! isabel!! maril!! ks!! the whole jc team!! council!! ms ee!! ms yong!!
ONE PERSON U FEEL LIKE KILLING
= heh heh. its christmas. i'm happy.
MOST STUPID THING IN THE WORLD?
= missing out on the best thing that could ever happen to you...knowing the greatest love in the world..His love.
MOST PRECIOUS THING IN LIFE?
= life after death..
ARE YOU FRIENDLY?
= u wish. heh heh.
WHAT IS LOVE?
= love is the Father sending His only Son down to be crucified on the cross so that we may have eternal life.
HAVE YOU EVER LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL?
= yes.
DO YOU LIKE SMOKERS?
= i'm alright.
WHATS UP WITH THE WORLD TODAY?
= its the devil's world.
MOST CRAZY THING U'VE DONE 2 URSELF?
= getting a tattoo?
IF UR OWN FRIEND TALKS BAD BOUT U
= trust me..i'd know..and he/she'll never live to see the light of day.
DONE THING U LIKE BOUT YOUR "SOMEONE"
= he understands everything about me.
THE SONG UR LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW
= dirty pop by nsync...its on e radio
SUM OF THE LYRICS
= i'm sick and tired of all these people talk about, what's up with this pop life and when is it gonna fade out?
THE LAST PERSON U SAW ON TV
= some jap actor.
THE LAST PERSON U ADDED IN UR FRIENDS LIST
= mel!!
NOWADAYS, WHAT IS THE THING THAT U MOST WORRY BOUT
= As.
ONE FACT BOUT URSELF THAT U WISH U UNDERSTAND BETTER
= why i do the things i do sometimes..
ONE PERSON U SHARE ALL UR PERSONAL PROBLEMS WITH
= i would say God...but He's not a person..ms ee. the first person i run to. cheers babe.
DO U LIKE GETTING ATTENTION?
= heh heh. depends i guess...
WAD WILL U DO NEXT?
= go bathe n get ready for church.
so...cherios!! merry christmas!! i love ya!!
christmas wishlist:
1. $2000 - so i can get all my frens presents.
2. $500 - so i can get my family presents.
3. BCE for block tests (fat hope liane).
4. to be a better Christian.
5. a library. with books and stationery.
6. a shop dedicated to tigger.
7. a whole new wardrobe.
8. a new house.
9. a lap top.
10. a life.
yeah. notice none of them are actually attainable. that's the big hint there. don't get me anything.
____________________________________________________
why does christmas get me so depressed? cuz you see thousands and thousands of couples enjoying candlelit dinners and all that romantic nonsense while you walk alone along the streets of orchard road. for 17 years.
for years i dreamt of you;
of how we'd stroll along the streets at night,
star-gazing;
feeling the caress of the passing breeze.
we could spend the day in utter silence;
and yet -
we'd understand each other completely.
how we'd suddenly look at each other
and burst into peals of laughter.
how we'd spend hours arguing at night,
but love it at the same time.
i found you that night.
but where are you now?
_____________________________________________
hey everyone!!!
we finally finished the new couple dance!!! and its damn nice!! haha!! and i can dance!! fei, jia yan, kha n i came up with the steps!!! ooh its so so so damn nice!! whee!! i can dance!! i don't look (that) stupid anymore!!! yay!! and chinkz was so privileged to be the first one to see the dance!!! aren't you lucky chinks?! hahahahahah!!!
my darhling jia yan's home!!! my fridge is home! yay! i love you jia yan!!! i love you i love you i love you!! hahahaha!! lesbo partner!! we have to make up for all those lost nights!! and love you for bringing back all these chocs and sweets!! yummy!!! yippee!!!
oooh i love jia yan and khalisah!! i found the tigger i've been looking for since sec 3!!! the one with a bell inside!!!! it was the only and last one on the shelf!! and they got it for me for christmas!!! ah!!! although they refuse to give it to me till christmas, but i love them!!!! its called tiggery _________!!! hahahaha!! jia yan and kha can have the honour of filling in the blanks!! i'm so happy today!!!! wheeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
oooh i love my darhlings!! all of them!! yay!!
_____________________________________________
a few shoutouts!!
jia yan dearest: don't be too upset k?? remember i'm always here for ya! and i love you to bits!!! esp for tigger!!! oooh yiipee!! and i'm gonna raid your fridge soon!!! yay!! i wanna see ya in a dress for heart awards!! i can't wait to see ya in church!!!! you haven't seen the new church yet, its beautiful!!! compared to henderson industrial park lah. hahahahah!!! this saturday!!!!
kha: oooh i love you for buying tigger for me!!! i can't wait for this sat when we can all go high together!! hahahahahaha!! no more henderson!!
fei n chinkz: magic wok with all you four was fun!!! dance was fun too!! lets do it again! i can't wait for orientation!! i can't wait for sch to reopen!! yo yo teo!!! yayness!!!
wanling: don't be angry k..i'll kick him/her for you! smile!! i still love ya girl! campfire's gonna be a blast!!!
(the following people might not see this, but to hell with it)
ms ee: darling!!!!! when are you coming back??? i miss ya alr!! shopping is fun!!!!!!!! you better have chocolates!!! we can go happy house and get stuck there again!! whee!!! hahahahahahahaha!!! love youuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ms yong: ms yong!!!!!! you're back!!!! hope ya had fun in tokyo!!! i missed ya too!!!! and we didn't burn down the school!! hahahahahahaha!!! i love ya too!!!!
_____________________________________________
oh my goodness. i love christmas!!!! and i can't wait for school to start!!! orientation!!!!! leonard's coming to mjc!! ivan and sam are crashing!!!!!!! yay!!!! i miss mr pang's hilarious lectures!! and mr ang's (i love the man's car...) psycho looks!!! i miss my classmates!! A202 rocks!!!!!! i wanna see all the juniors!! i miss cp!! i miss everyone!!!
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i do i do i doooo!!!!!!
anyways. my mum's pretty peeved with me right now cuz i blew my phone bill (is 79 bucks a lot?) with 1427 smses and exceeded the $100 budget for my specs (black plastic framed ones cuz white were sold out). it cost $138. sigh. what to do. i'm a blind bat. lenses too thick to fit into the damn frames. ohwells. at least she wasn't too pissed to get me a skirt. yay. now i need a top to match it. ah damn.
went to watch the philyouth band perform (cuz of joel lah). they were pretty good i must say. strong flute and percussion sections (timpanist was impressive).
oh yeah. supposed to blog about church camp!
church camp rocked man. i grew so much in His Spirit. and i finally knew why things happened the way they did. you know, when you're in His presence, suddenly, everything doesn't seem to matter anymore. i wonder what i've been doing searching for love everywhere but here, where He dwells, where the Creator of love Himself is. His love overpowers all.
amazing race was super fun. haha. and the camp was so slack! hahaha..we woke up at 9, breakfast, then free time till lunch. like...what?! hahaha..people were playing bball n soccer like there's no tmr. and the services were so powerful. i cried so much, i had a headache. and that's coming from me man. oh yeah. sister evelyn (the kid's central one yeah..haha..she's really nice real life ya know. damn sweet.) video taped me sleeping. .... and crying too. ah. that tape's going down..
anyways. off now. can't wait for church tmr. will be sending my annoying brother (lerren) down for sunday school. i can't believe some people actually find that retard cute.
toodles.
i just came back from camp and here i am working already.
this is madness.
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MJC2004 Reflections
according to SPCS, these reflections are in light of MJC's performance this year. these include a critical analysis on specific academic areas of MJC e.g. lecture notes, timetables, lectures, tutorials, exams etc. in here, i will provide an explanation to issues which cannot be changed, proposals to those that can and an assurance to push (aggressiveness to be adjusted to a comfortable level here) for these changes (as long as they're reasonable i.e. no pushing for an abolishment of examinations). however, take note that all these are my personal opinions; i do not represent the council. oh and another thing. thanks to SPCS for bothering to post this up; the fact that you guys bothered to walk the talk is highly appreciated. =)
timetables
okay, be happy. be very happy. the timetables have been changed yet again to suit our body clocks. if my memory does not fail me, A202 would enjoy pleasant trips home at (latest) 1515 hours everyday and S205 gets to fly at 1445. these are timetables for the 3 A level subject holders though, the 4 A level holders would just have to suffer long timetables (sorry guys..this is the price to pay for being too smart ;p). the timetables are still subject to changes (ms lai showed us the timetables after the ogl camp).
lectures, tutorials and lecture notes
i'm sorry, i would have to slam your points here. nothing personal, no offense taken i hope.
i think most of us students would have resigned themselves to the fact that lousy lecturers (academic, intellectual or attitude wise) somehow always manage to smoke their way past their practicums (just like how we smoke past our exams). i personally met one who could not even clarify her own doubts on the subject at hand, nor could she control those great streams flowing from her paunchy eyes (i'm sorry, its hard to resist). in addition, we have lecturers who spend more than half the lesson making a walrus (pun absolutely intended) out of themselves telling us that she wants to go get married (okay she didn't mean that but that's how it sounded coming between her great walrus fangs) or she that she thinks we should just go married instead of studying that particular subject. i could go on forever, but i think you get my point.
the thing is, we can't exactly do anything about it other than make their lives difficult. this applies not only to MJC, but to all other schools (don't you agree?). i personally would take pleasure in fulfilling their worst nightmares knowing that they can't really do anything since we're already in J2. the trick here is to make sure that students mug their guts out to tape their mouths shut.
JC culture is as such (not the fault of MJC, rather, the fault lies with our education system).
1. 5 hours of sleep is considered luxury.
2. lecture notes never seem adequete nor up to standard (just take a look at TJC's notes).
3. the academic pace is usually at (japanese) train speed.
ask around. JC students hardly ever get more than 5 hours of sleep, between tutorials, cca etc. the JC system is the most rigorous, tedious and unjust system in singapore, as we have already been warned by our seniors, sec sch teachers and ms lai herself. students may work from dusk till dawn and still not see results, while others hardly take the effort to study and are still able to get decent grades. yes, MJC does not give students a chance to sit for a re-exam, but are re-exams that beneficial after all? the A levels are far more demanding than the O levels; wouldn't it be better for one to retain and score well for A levels, instead of scrapping through the promos and failing the A levels in the end? this is a cruel but practical way of sifting out those who are prepared and those who are not prepared for the A levels. students can claim that our promotional examination standards are prepostrous and too challenging for our current standards, but isn't it better to be thrown something challenging so as to prepare us for the As? i highly doubt that the school is trying to retain or kick students out through the promos, rather, i suspect that they want only the best to take the A levels, which would offer more advantages to both the students and school alike.
it is a cruel, heartless thing to say, but now, its not about how hard we work, but how we work hard. i know of people who have mugged their guts out for the exams and yet they are unable to promote. i did not bother studying for the exams and by God's grace i managed to promote (i'm so gonna get killed for this). perhaps they are just not cut out for the JC system, or perhaps for some reason or other, they are unable to grasp the techniques taught in the whole year. whatever the reason, they need to be taught the syllabus one more time, for their own good too. i'm not trying to put down students who have retained, i'm just trying to present this in the most practical, detached way i can. i believe that when there's a will there's a way, when there's no way you will force a way out somehow. if we study hard enough, in the best way we can possibly do so, we will see results.
admittedly, i can't say that our results are completely dependent on us. lecturers and lecture notes and tutorials play a huge role too. honestly, our lecture notes are pretty concise compared to other JCs already. if we have lousy lecturers or tutors, we can't exactly get them sacked either, can we? the best we could do is to work extremely hard to get those grades.
as for re-exams, don't we already have re-exams in the form of our block tests for the advanced cases? i too disagree with the notion of having block tests, as it would only prove to advance students not ready for the A levels.
if you can't take the fact that JC students sleep late and get lousy notes, i'd tell you that the JC system is not right for you.
as for the standard of the lecture notes and examinations, i guess this is something we can present to the relevant authorities. i can only promise to persuade them into agreeing to do something about it (such as improving the standard of our lecture notes). i can't really say much as i'm hardly in the position to do so. hope u enjoyed this too.
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wanted to blog about church..but too tired. willl brb.
national treasure was one good show......
can't wait for camp..
okay. sleepy. cna't htink ayway.
"i don't know really...its just the way i was."
don't i know?
"the decision ultimately lies in your hands you know."
does it?
"you can't control feelings."
"you can suppress them."
can you?
________________________________________________
why do we fall so easily?
there he stands
why do we remember?
you can't help but stare
why do you force yourself?
and then you turn away.
_________________________________________________
"learn to understand that you can't control everything."
"can't i?"
"certain things take time."
"i don't have time."
"be patient."
"this is not allowing me to move on."
"its not your fault."
"whose is it then?"
"its no one's fault."
"but i can do something about it."
"don't force yourself."
"how else can i get over it?"
"i don't know."
_________________________________________________
"remember how you happily put a full-stop to it just a few months back?"
"happily?"
"okay. reluctantly put a full-stop to it? knowing its for the better?"
"yeah i did. and i prefer it this way."
- silence -
we both know what we're thinking.
the lines aren't that clear.
i don't think either of us knows why.
_________________________________________________
don't take me seriously.
"your heart and mind are still not in sync."
was it really a promise?
or did i interpret it wrongly?
i think too much for my own good.
ya know.
sometimes i just wish i could pity myself. i seem to lack the ability to do so.
sometimes i wish i don't always know what to do. i want someone to tell me what to do.
sometimes i wish i could just sit there and mope instead of getting back up so fast. its almost robotic.
the problem with me is that i only tell two people my problems, and the rest after the problem is settled. think most friends would know that by now.
im sorry...i don't mean to do that..its just that i usually feel alright after ranting to those two.
i'm fine really. haha. will always be fine.
i hope it really is Your promise.
haha, there were so so so so so many hotties, guys and gals alike! like... woaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! and the ritz carlton rooms are wooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i had a long bath there!! so cool! that was aft me n mar were kinkying together of cuz...heh heh. omg omg omg omg...and the view was fantastic!!!! wow. wow wow wow wow wow wow. i was squashed between ms ho n ms yong on the bed (heh heh..jia yan!!!!) and we jus couldn't move our fat asses.
kumar and i were out there choosing the best dressed people...wow! so fun!! all of em were so so so so so so so hot pls......damn! and guess what..felicia won prom queen again! haha! that gal jus can't help it eh!
the programme was okay, people were too busy taking photos to really care. my fave performance by ibrahim!!! woohoo! you the man!! and though the seniors said the food sucked...i was too hungry to care. thought it was fantastic.
************************************************************************
me: "look me in the eyes and tell me i'm over him."
ms yong: "you're over him."
me: "okay. i'm over him."
ms yong: "you're over him."
*************************************************************************
that's up to me to decide right? honestly, i was pretty pre-occupied through the whole event..some problems i guess. feeling like crap through the night...couldn't wait to get to sch..had to talk to ms ee before i cracked. went to swenson's...thought i had to go to church so went down town shopping (yes darlin, clothes come in SIZES! what a surprise! *evil laugh*). bought a pair of sandals!! damn nice! and cheap too..heh heh.
thanks woman. knew i could count on you to make me feel betta. woulda cracked if i didnt talk to ya. thought through on a lot of things...guess you're right after all eh. love ya!
i miss jia yan already!! can you come back soon........i miss ya like mad! and ms yong was all mine when ya were gone!! muahahahahahahaha. come back darling...
k..nothing much to say alr..shall go to sleep now! ciao!
anyways...jus cut my hair!! hahaha! yay!! for those concerned....hehs..don't worry, i'm still growing it, its just a trim. alvin (my hairdresser) said it'll take another 4-6 months to grow out my hair. ah!! sobs. i hope its 4 months n not 6..i'll just cry.
gonna be prom later!!! yay! all the hotties to drool over....yummy. contemplating wearing either my fcuk shirt or jus a black gio shirt with a scarf round e waist. hmm.
ooh. n i did my nails. haha. for e first time since i was working (beginning of the year)!! heh heh. its their prom i know..but its at ritz n i have to have to look at least presentable. u have no idea what kinda make-up i managed to uncover today....muahahahaha..
yay! its so gonna be a helluva fun night!!!
firstly to ruffles, benson, shazleen and the bass guitarist (i'm sorry i don't know your name!!)
i'm sorry about the whole prom thing...don't know how else i can say it. i'm not involved for prom, so i can't say really say much. i admit, it was our own fault that we didn't forsee the lack of time in the schedule..we did want both bands to perform. i could offer you guys a thousand and one explanations about why we had to do what we did or some shit like that but i don't think you'd would wanna hear it. please don't write us off just like that...we make mistakes like everyone else too.. i know apologies won't change anything, but that's the least i could do. i heard you guys really really gave up a lot for this performance and i don't think we could make for that in anyway.....
i'm sorry.
next, to my sec sch friends (crys, dy, denise, joyce, jx) if u guys still read of course.
sigh. its not that i don't wanna spend time with you all or anything..pls don't think of it that way. i couldn't go for the chalet cuz i had vacation bible school..couldn't go for dy's birthday lunch/dinner cuz i had no cash. and no, i'm not joking when i tell you i have no cash. i'm so broke, i've been reduced to bringing food from home. i'm so broke, i starve in sch till all my damned meetings end before i go home to eat. i know i haven't been spending time with you guys, i'm really sorry about that. admist meetings, church and being broke, its hardly plausible..but i'll try okay....
i'm sorry.
okay.
had another argument with my mum just now. ah. i hate arguing with her.
went to jia yan's house jus now..pigged out like mad. i think every hungry african shld go there.
okay why am i trying to blog. i've no mood.
bye.
something really stupid happened today. went to school, then went to ghim moh (GHIM MOH!) to collect 1 friggin blazer (don't ask) went back to sch and went to magic wok for lunch (at 4). i got home, slept like a pig and my junior called, asking if i was coming for the bbq.
*funeral bells*
bbq? i totally forgot that sac's pc council bbq was today! not only that, i forgot to tell all the other seniors!! oh my goodness, i could just kill myself..hahaha!!! ohwells...rushed down, had fun with my darling juniors while they were making a fool outta themselves.....
i miss them. it brought back so many memories. memories of sac, the stupid things i did, the teachers i scolded, the juniors i terrorised, the lessons i slept through...everything. i miss them (i think some of you would know who i'm referring to) so much. when my junior gave me a lift home in her dad's car, we drove past her house in bedok south. haha. all the times i was there, doing what? i don't know.
then i remembered standard tests in sec 3. does anyone remember standard tests in sec 3? anyone remember who invigilated us? anyone remember shujing? haha, i miss her like mad too. will call her out for coffee soon i hope. all that. everything.
i miss sac...i wanna go back there. all those memories...oh man. wish i could relive every single one. just one more time.
benedict
becky
charlotte
cheryl
chewiee
christine
dee
dexter
dom lao da!
esmonde!
elite
fabian
fei
fee fee leader!
gabriel BESTIE!
isabel best fren
jamie
joyce bimbo
joel
kumar big thing
kurseth cow
lynette
lydia
marli
mariam
mong
naturkey
ongah
pam
porky
pig pig
ruo en
ruffles
sarah
shuyi
weiying
wei tze
wendy
winson
ying mei!
yolanda
zhi xiang
Heart of God Church
City Harvest Church
Pastor Ulf Ekman
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