Voila~!
And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
- Matthew 11:12
I will take it by force.
i'm not depressed, i feel others' depression.
girl, i could feel every ounce of pain you're going thru. i felt your fatigue, i felt your disappointment, i felt your fear. i felt you being cheated, i felt your being forced into something you loathe, i felt you screaming and whimpering as you're dragged thru all this. He watches you, every step of the way, and hopes that you'd just cry out to Him for help. He tells me every week that He misses you, that He loves you and is just waiting for you to reply His message. you give me so much trust, you run to me whenever there's something wrong, and i'll always be waiting here with open arms. you always feel that i can do so much for you, that i always make you feel better or at least able to hold on. He's God, can you imagine what He can do.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
...
liane, you're sucha a no-lifer.
anyways, yes jiayan i miss you too!!!! hahaha..too bad you couldn't come on sunday, come soon alrights?? peck's waiting for her next compliment. you can see how rarely she gets any.....
gosh. i can't sleep cuz if i do, good luck to dad who wakes me up every morning.
i'm crappin.
heck. i think i'll sleep anyhows.
ZzZzZz
i don't think i'd give a blow by blow account of the entire oc, other blogs could be checked out for that. i'll jus share my personal views on this oc.
it was irritating at first, i must say. once again, we were given wrong instructions and we weren't even accounted for in the lunch, or so we thought (due to some teacher..). that aside, i never knew teachers could be so childish. you want to usher them all the way in, they complain that they wanna see show...blah blah blah. ah. geesh. ms rai n ms ho caught me rolling my eyes 360 degrees...it was quite hilarious i gather.
stop bitchin liane.
okay...
everyone was so excited to get it over and done with. as the event was ending, all of us got so damn high!! hahaha!! even the cheering was super hyper and loud!! we kept cheering and cheering and cheering! co and band and choir and the dances and tkd were damn good!! kudos to all u guys!! and to all councillors as well!! woohoo!!! we survived yet another one!! weehee!!
what really got me excited that day....were all the hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT babes!!!! woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!!!! oh my goodness!!!! ms ng! mrs chin! mrs seng! ms soh! ms seah! ms poh! ms ann koh! ms yong!! and the ultimate hot babe award goes to ....... (gee, three guesses who) MS EE!! oh. my. gosh. she's damn hot. she was wearing this corporate outfit thing that made her look like some femme fatale bodyguard, who can kill you with jus one swipe of the karate trained hands and a classic eagle-eyed ee stare. wow!! hahaha.
i'm mad.
we took so many photos!! we being jiayan n i.....heh. while beoing all the hot babes...so fun!! and ms ee finally let me hug her for more than 3 secs in public. haha! jia yan n i went out to get flowers for some people, so pretty i tell u!! and we had to wait so damn long to pass it to em.....gee. was the food that good? and ms ee! i tell u she's so damn thick skinned. saw me holding flowers and said 'thank youuuu!!' immediately. (-_-"') ah wells. egotistical ppl will always be. ;)
ms ee's hot.
*runs around in circles while jiayan runs around in her other circle*
i swear people think we're sick.
ms yong's damn hot too.
so's mrs chin.
okay stop already.
*slaps myself*
oooh!! and i got a new tigger from dan!! thanks dear!! tiggery d ii. heh heh.
mrs chin: you rock. you rock like no other. the msgs u sent yesterday were so so so damn sweet!!! hahaha! ahhhh!!! hahahahaha!!! don't let mr chin know!! sssshhhh.
ms yong: don't need to get us anything la u silly girl. we are not of numerical worth. ;) and yes, you're hot too.
ms ee: hottest babe of em all!!!! pls go eat something. before i force a chicken down your throat.
gee.
i don't think they'll see it.
ah well..
so much for blogworthy.
cherios!!!!!
shall i talk about inefficiency?
nah.
how about conflicting orders?
perhaps not.
student ushers were not allowed to walk across the red carpet.
fair enough.
so jiayan n i took off our shoes to take our positions in the middle aisle.
then you see some teachers jumping across the red carpet, or tiptoeing across it.
pretty amusing, but highly appreciated.
and others just blatantly walking across it.
that was so derogatry.
you know how ridiculous we looked standing on the red carpet and wiggling your toes?
and how downright stupid when the council rushed forward to do cheers, only to be parted by a "red sea"?
so you guys walk on air and we walk on dirt huh.
__________________________________________________________
"hey, left toe. how're ya?"
"fine, thank you. it feels kinda good to breathe some fresh air huh?"
"yeah. i hated being stuck in those adidas shoes."
"woooo..is that the red carpet?"
"hey, how come we're out here anyway?"
"stop wiggling, left, i feel kinda woozy."
__________________________________________________________
where do alumni and teachers sit?
the plan was changed 3 times before we confirmed everything.
and that was with the councillors telling the teachers what should be done and what shouldn't be done.
then you walk and see the chairs labelled differently.
hmm.
and receive a call saying that the plan was changed again.
the labels were apparently the right order.
how come the teachers who are supposed to direct us are not even sure of the original plan?
the monkey god and his 72 transformations.
at least he got things done.
i had a really horrible day.
it felt so therapeutic buying balloons and guns with the rest of the council and acting like complete nutcases.
running into school screaming and threatening to commit suicide.
ms ho smiling and granting us that one day of open display of insanity.
thank you.
then at the end of the day, you get blasted for all that and more.
on normal days, i would have just taken it, and agreed.
after watcing the teachers' behaviours, attitudes and inefficiencies, i was hardly in a position to.
how dare you.
you've already forfeited your rights.
simply because you've proven yourself unable to do the same thing.
like someone with untied shoelaces asking another to tie his up.
my respect for you and those alongside, except for one or two, has flown away together with those damned ifos.
__________________________________________________________
you know, the strange thing is, i don't feel angry.
my head tells me that i am angry, that it is angry, but my heart is not.
so technically, i'm angry and yet not angry.
if you get what i mean.
__________________________________________________________
we would have done a better job.
and been whacked real hard for the same mistakes you made.
no.
make that for the minor mistakes you guys wouldn't even have foreseen.
like i said, you've lost the right, don't talk about things you can't even fulfill yourself.
__________________________________________________________
to the one i'm giving face to:
thought you did a fantastic job.
but then again i could be biased.
at least you were efficient and knew what you were doing.
helped that your orders were very clear.
hope your phone's been found.
__________________________________________________________
to ms ho (though i know you're prob not gonna read this):
thank you for accepting us as we are.
for giving good advice and being clear of your objectives.
and for making sense.
sense is a valuable asset.
__________________________________________________________
hearing myself say all this, makes me think back..i knew all this was gonna happen.
experienced it myself.
but then, i had more power and pride to do things my way and shove everyone obstructing me aside.
haha.
mr pang would say, 'you knew what you were getting yourself into, so what's the point of complaining so much.'
i totally agree.
but it doesn't make slavery seem any more pleasant.
for those who may feel offended, too bad. its already heavily censored considering the possible audiences.
cherios.
who would shower you with blessings (financial or otherwise) just when you need them?
who would tickle you at the exact moments you need them?
who would bother to listen to your stutters in the middle of the night?
who would always be waiting for you to fall, ready to catch you at any time?
who is contactable 24/7, at any time of the day, any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year?
who never turns on the answering machine, but rushes to pick up your calls?
who sends servants down to watch over you so that the bad guys don't come?
who sends you out to reap the harvest you didn't sow and gives you its riches?
who begs you to accept the blessings you never deserved to own?
who unchains you from the weight of sin and drags you out of the ravages of hell?
who gives you such power and strength with each failure?
who would always forgive you no matter how many times you fail?
who gives you tears when you need tears, anger when you need anger and laughter when you need laughter?
who promises you the wonders of a kingdom simply by believing?
who would send His Son down to die for you, so you may have that kingdom?
God.
i'm so lucky.
i'm so blessed.
why should i whine? hahaha..i don't need to. i have the King with me.
i will love you for eternity.
i have a dysfunctional family.
i feel like a single mum who can't control her two kids.
i feel like a recluse.
oh yes.
another thing.
i looked at my cip hours and i saw: 24
what bullshit.
how in the world does the school expect me to chalk up 80 hours when the councillors don't even have time to do tutorials? at least ogls get hours..we don't. sigh. i hope our TAs can get them for us. there's no use whining about it, i know that. and i was fully aware of what i was getting myself into the moment i took up that form....haha. what a moron. oh well.
why am i so angry...
ah. i'll be alright.
but i'm sucha bitch today.
thanks ms yong for ya kun n shopping n listening to my childish whines.
okay i'm fine now.
:)
God, You are my strength and my tower.
matt 19... what in the world do You mean?
:)
jiayan!!!!!!!!!
u can so nv show yr face anywhere near mrs low anymore!!!!!
hahahahahaha!!!!!!!
oh my goodness how embarrassing!!
i think ms ng is hot.
uh huh.
i know yr reading this ms ng.
hahah!!!
there're so so so many hot teachers in mj man.....wahahahahaha!!!!
ms ee ms yong ms ng mrs chin....
the rest i don't dare say alr.
ah heck.
ms ee ms yong ms ng mrs chin ms ann koh ms michelle wong ms poh ms soh mrs low ms seah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hee hee.
ms ee's the hottest.
*looks around frantically*
*peeps thru fingers wide open*
*lets out a silent scream*
she's hot!
hee hee.
'liane shuddup.'
'but..'
'shuddup.'
'go bathe now'
hee hee..
today was super fun!!
studyin on the 3rd floor rocks!
hahahahahaha!!!
it was such a rare sight.
me stuck jiayan guan guan n sufi.
5 councillors congregated..
studying.
oh my goodness.
first time ever since our term began.
and kumar joining us afterward.
mr rigel!!!
hahahahaha..
magic wok was good.
yummy.
i should do my tutorials.
uh huh.
sigh..
how depressing.
*runs around and whispers*
we have hot teachers!!
you never know who's reading your blog.
uh huh.
i hope you won't be feeling bored anytime soon and somehow land here........
anyways.
took today off.
cuz er...
*looks above*
yeah.
spent some quiet time....it felt good. haven't been doing my QT for about 3 days already....was very spiritually hungry. so i started praying...and praying and praying.
one thing i found out: He ain't gonna talk to ya if ya ain't gonna persist.
i prayed for His word.
for His revelation.
read the book of Acts.
nothing much; no logos.
then started praying again.
Him: 'where is she?'
me: 'er..i don't know how to ask...how about waiting till easter...?'
inner me/ID: 'yeah. you might as well wait till next christmas.'
Him: 'step out in faith.'
step out in faith...
step out in faith..
step out in faith.
that's it!
i gotta step out in faith!!!
revelation.
thank You.
i know what to do now.
;)
yesterday was fun.
had meeting for OC..
then went to show ms ee the cheers for OC.
hilarious i tell you.
that fella attempted to improvise on the 'thrusting actions' of the reggie part [apparently deemed unappropriate for ministers to see...] and did some punching, hip swaying action.
priceless.
we shoulda video-taped it man.....
it sent jiayan to her knees in laughter.
and mrs crossley raising her eyebrows many levels up when we imitated it...
er.
hi.
anyways.
yeah...so jiayan n i were running around like mad cows everywhere.....
there were so so so so many hot teachers sitting in the GO rem?!?!?!?!
*runs around in circles*
literally...
hahahah!!!
and everyone was staring at us ...
hahahaha!!!!
and we were walking around with masking tapes saying
'i love ms yong! :)'
'i love ms ee! :)'
'i love mrs chin :)'
and wondering why people were staring!!
hahah!!
that was fun!!
oooh!!!
and we saw mr chin!!!
wahahahahahahah!!!
*salutes!*
hee hee hee heee heee!!!!!!!
and ms yong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wheeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss ya darlin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
weehee.....~!
oooh!!!
was traumatising mark too...
hahahahahha!!!
ssssssssshhhhhh...
anyways....
i think i betta go off before i start a tirade on all the gorgeous hot hot hot and sexy teachers around....
wahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
ciao!!
:)
not good enough for the Lord, but it was comfortable, and i could almost feel Him sitting on the chair, watching me as i pray.
yesterday, i sat there and prayed.
a silent prayer, not the kind we use against the devil.
i barely prayed for 5 minutes, when tears flowed down my cheeks.
i didn't understand why i felt this way.
disappointment?
hurt?
reminisce?
stupidity?
i asked, 'why is it i don't understand? why is it i can't forget..do i not love You enough?'
i cried.
and cried.
and cried.
and cried.
without understanding.
i cried.
i felt Him sitting there, watching me, as those tears flowed endlessly.
'read hebrews.'
'i did.'
'read it properly.'
i turned to hebrews.
and i read.
i read it with my heart, and His wisdom guided me through.
By Faith They Overcame
30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they were encircled for seven days.
31 By faith the harlot Rahab did not perish with those who did not believe, when she had received the spies with peace.
32 And what more shall I say? For the time would fail me to tell of Gideon and Barak and Samson and Jephthah, also of David and Samuel and the prophets:
33 who through faith subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, ordained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,
34 quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.
35 Women received their dead raised to life again. Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better reserrection.
36 Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment.
37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented -
38 of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains in dens and caves of the earth.
39 And all these, having obtained a good testimony through faith, did not receive that promise,
40 God having provided something better for us, that they should not be made perfect apart from us.
The Race of Faith
12 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight , and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
'you can't understand God. if you understand God, you are God.'
'God doesn't want you to understand, then have faith. He doesn't work that way. He wants you to have faith, then understand.'
'now do you understand?'
'i...'
'the pains and sufferings of this world are but temporal. the riches that await you in My kingdom are eternal. have faith, my child, and you will understand. have faith.'
faith.
such a simple word.
i always thought i had faith.
simple faith, strong faith, child-like faith.
the same faith which saved me from turning away from Him months ago.
no.
my faith was inadequete.
it was incomplete.
He made me understand that yesterday.
i've got to have faith in Him.
i want to love Him even more each day.
more and more and more.
i want to enter His Kingdom as a child.
i want to be like King David, a woman after His own heart.
i love you Christ.
i love you Lord.
for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.
mr yeow was talking to kumar and i, everyone standing around trying on blazers. i looked at them, looked at mr yeow and kumar and said,
'i don't care anymore, i'm walking out.'
and i did.
i meant every step i took.
'liane, come back.'
i stopped.
turned around.
and walked back.
why did i walk back?
i really didn't care.
when mr yeow spoke to us, i knew he wanted to blow at me cuz i was hardly paying attention; according to my body language.
well.
i said i didn't care right.
spoke to him after that.
said i'd be okay.
'i thought you still cared, and i banked on it.'
'liane, don't give up on me now.'
'my impression of you guys as a family has slowly eroded.'
'i think you're better off riding that vespa.'
'if anyone falls in love with you driving that car, man, its gotta be true love.'
ya know what i really wanna do?
i wanna spend some time with my classmates.
i wanna talk to my best friends.
dan marli julie jiayan etc etc.
i wanna talk to my darlings.
i wanna spend some time with sargas.
hell, i wanna TALK to sargas.
i wanna see my ex-classmates, who probably think i don't care about them anymore.
wait.
i know they think i don't care about them anymore.
3 friends have flown off, and i haven't sent one off.
i wanna do my tutorials.
yeah you heard right.
doing tutorials is a luxury.
i wanna go back to cp.
i wanna go shopping damnit.
i wanna watch a movie.
i wanna watch three movies.
howl's moving castle, moments to remember and shall we dance.
i wanna learn to play the guitar.
can i?
can i please?
i don't wanna bitch here.
about why i'm pissed.
don't ask me why.
went off to spend some time with my churchmates.
that really saved my day.
you guys rock man.
'are we there yet?'
'are we there yet?'
'are we there yet?'
'are we there yet?'
'are we there yet?'
and to top it all off......
'can we go home?'
God, You're the only one i can hold on to now.
You don't have to tell me You're worth it, i know.
now i've got to tell the rest.
tired as i am, jaded as i am, hurt as i am,
everytime i go back into Your presence, it feels so warm and loving.
i have to lean on Your strength.
let me GLOW.
its been a hectic week.
OGL interviews, rounds 1 and 2, tutorials, church, council, tests....
the list goes on.
i broke down on friday. i don't think anyone realised.
why's it that everytime i tell people i'm okay, no one believes me, and when i finally admit i'm not, no one listens? how ironic. and the people i need always seem so far away sometimes....work's a huge obstacle.
i miss ya jia yan!!!
and i love ms yong.
thanks for waking me up that night. you think you made me feel worse instead of better, but i tell you, i've heard so much senseless advice over the week, you were like music to the ears.
God is my manna.
church is my ecstacy.
everyone keeps asking me if i can drop church.
screw you.
what gives you the right to tell me that school and council are more important than God?
if you love someone, do you only give him/her one day a week?
no.
you give your whole life.
go ahead, think i'm a fanatic.
yes.
i'm mad about Christ. i love Him more than anyone or anything in this world.
we've all got our priorities wrong.
why are we hanging on to material things which aren't going to last for eternity?
He is the only thing that is eternal. that's why i'm hanging on to Him.
saturday's jc team conference was so powerful. i knelt down during worship, and told God, 'look, i'm not getting up till You speak to me.' He has a sense of humour. and i knelt down all the way till the end of the song. my feet were numbed and i had cramps. not a pleasant feeling. but i was adamant. then He finally spoke to me, as ks prayed over me. it felt wonderful. it had to be Him; i knew it in my heart. i was renewed.
GO GLOW GROW!!
went for service on sunday. was so worried that i would be kicked out cuz i didn't complete my 15 hours. by God's grace, i could go! service was excellent. i love sitting on the last seat of the row; gives my so much space to jump around in circles. standing in the middle feels so constipated, not to mention the fact that i've tripped over my own feet while hopping around.
was really tired when i got home yesterday, so i prayed a short 5 minute prayer for supernatural strength. i felt so excited i started jumping around and singing in my room. i think He was very amused...esp since i couldn't rem half the lyrics. but heck. He knows i love Him.
settled tuition ministry stuff with joyce and peck last night. haha!! i'll be teaching physics and maths, more emphasis on physics. oh man. poor students. i so have to read up on my stuff. of cuz i'll be teaching humanities too....haha. this is so amusing.
i just wanna sit by a riverside and strum away on a guitar, singing praises to my King.
too bad i can't play the guitar.
but heck.
i will soon.
i love my King.
love.
misery.
as of now, only stuck n kumar understand.
everytime ms ee arrives, problems are solved. amazing.
i love ya darlin.
the biggest problem is solved.
but
18 missing.
hee hee.
benedict
becky
charlotte
cheryl
chewiee
christine
dee
dexter
dom lao da!
esmonde!
elite
fabian
fei
fee fee leader!
gabriel BESTIE!
isabel best fren
jamie
joyce bimbo
joel
kumar big thing
kurseth cow
lynette
lydia
marli
mariam
mong
naturkey
ongah
pam
porky
pig pig
ruo en
ruffles
sarah
shuyi
weiying
wei tze
wendy
winson
ying mei!
yolanda
zhi xiang
Heart of God Church
City Harvest Church
Pastor Ulf Ekman
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