Voila~!
And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
- Matthew 11:12
I will take it by force.
its all jiayan's fault.
heh heh.
man.
amazing what you can find in this huge mess.
secondary sch memories...loads of them.
then i set up a drawer specially for jc memories.
used a shoebox to keep all my nice stuff from secondary school, so i'm keeping the tradition.
used a VNC shoebox (think hard about where the history of this particular shoebox).
anyways.
gotta go do my homework now.
ciao.
perception.
is the cup half empty or half full?
pretty things on the surface fool many.
people who don't understand, or choose not to, never will.
i give up.
i really do.
*throws in white towel*
you can find 30001 different ways of debunking my 'argument'; the thing is, i ain't arguing. i know better than to argue with someone who writes and speaks better than i do. its a personal stand, a simple rambling. i'm perfectly fine with other people having their own opinions about who God is or how one gets to God really, i'm just saying that Christianity has degenerated just because of a few people who know nothing about Christianity.
thus i only have a few points to bring up (for clarifications):
1. this isn't an argument or debate, so there shouldn't be anything to refute to begin with
2. according to traditions, the Sabbath is supposed to be kept holy and Christians 'have' to go to church too.
3. like i said in the beginning, Christianity is degenerating because of a few know-nothings. it isn't fair to persecute the entire faith because of these people is it?
4. its not Christianity which made me 'abandon' my friends, as you call it. if you recall, it was really about me not spending enough time with them because i'm compelled to head wherever i'm needed. shopping and trips to the neighbourhood cafe can't really be considered a need when i have councillors depending on me or students who need to pass their O levels. if acceptance and compromise cannot be found..then i'm sorry.
i don't profess to know everything about Christianity, i am new to it you know. lets just each stick to our own opinions alright? we're all in search of the truth, which way you take is really up to you, i ain't gonna intrude anytime soon. ;)
anyways, good that you don't take offence. can hardly find people like that nowadays.
ciao bro, off to service. ;)
this entry is purely a personal one, so i couldn't give two hoots what happens next.
no offense to you bro, still love ya loads.
i have just one question to ask,
what does the whole world have against Christianity?
just because of a few overzealous Christian know-nothings, the entire faith is being eaten up by the dogs.
i'm sorry, i'm just very compelled to protect my God.
if every other religion reserves the right to kneel and pray and praise their god, then i think Christians do to.
if people have problems accepting the Christian God, then don't. i praise Him cuz i know He's watching over me, cuz i know that that's Someone i can count on when my friends and family have all left me to die in lucifer's black hole. and no, we don't kneel all the time. in fact, there's a lot of jumping and singing involved.
people have a problem with evangelism? well, at least that's better than other religions who just keep their faiths to themselves and secretly whisper to each other, 'well, i'm going to heaven and you're not, nanny nanny poo poo.' and like is said, don't be thrown off by overzealous know nothings.
and you know what i seriously have a problem with?
i have a problem with muslims being let a few hours off school every friday afternoon for prayers, but Christians not being allowed to go off on sundays because of church. why the special rights? you tell people you need to go to the mosque to pray, or you need to go home early to break fast and everyone's perfectly fine with it, but when you tell them you need to be in church for follow up sessions or a worship session, the whole world gives you THAT LOOK which says 'oh my gosh, how irresponsible can she get?' or 'what's up with church man..'. take for example ctc. the juniors weren't let off for church. so now visits to the mosque presides over church? look, i have nothing against muslims, its those who favour them that i have a huge bone to pick with. if they are granted these rights, then following singapore's admirable 'regardless of race, language or religion' policy, i think we should be too.
if anyone wants us to leave them alone, then i suggest they stop persecuting us.
sorry bro. this is not a personal attack against you alright. its just the same defensive outburst i had for a certain tall someone.
and increasingly annoyed that my blogger is in chinese.
already i can't read chinese, and now i find out my comp can't either.
sheesh.
anyways, on to happier things..
yesterday's soccer match was fantastic! we won rjc with a score of 1-0! a 3 year old school beating a sch with more than 50 years' worth of traditions...hah! take that! we had a great crowd too!! everyone was cheering and jumping and shouting and yelling!! could be because all the soccer players' significant others were in the crowd...heh. and the bus ride back!! wow!! it was great just going crazy with jiayan, kha, stuck and the rest of the no. 3s! and yes no. 3s!! wonderful job yesterday!! woohoo!! we were seranading mrs chin on the way back with don't wanna miss a thing, so fun!! we were having fun with the vps, ms ee and ms wong too!! woohooo!!
went to support cindy and wanling at the chinese singing competition yesterday!! though we didn't get there in time for wanling's performance, i'll bet she was great! and cindy won the competition!! woohoo!! went for dinner with ms yong, stuck, kha, jiayan and wanling after that...showed kha a little bit about sac's culture..heh heh.
wow. yesterday was one of the best days i had in a long time.
God is a good God.
He really rocks my socks.
:)
investiture rehearsals.
memories come flowing in.
you have no idea.
i wish i had another chance.
'you're like a falling star.'
indeed.
like meteors, bright and fiery, only to hit the ground like harmless flies.
i've fallen from grace.
i wish i didn't have to end like this.
you have no idea how much is going on inside.
i tried, i really did.
we talked.
but you still seem like you're pushing me away.
you tell me how disappointed you are, and ask how different i am from **.
did you bother to ask me then?
how did it feel when you kept pushing me away, did you have any idea?
i kept asking, i remember.
but you didn't want to talk.
perhaps you still need more time.
i wouldn't know.
but i do have a question.
is our friendship merely based on work?
is it that delicate?
yes, i'm insecure.
i don't know.
i wish you and you and you would still talk to me.
i really do.
i still love you guys so so so so much.
i cannot afford my nightmares to keep recurring.
it reminds me too much of my past.
my mind can take it, but my heart can't.
and this time, i will let the mind take over.
i look at this council.
the newbies.
3rd students' council.
walk on.
walk on proud.
head held high.
i look at them and wish,
'if only i had another chance.'
i fell from grace.
and that one mistake can kill every good thing you've ever done.
sometimes, even the people closest to you cannot accept what you did.
sometimes they too, are unable to take the emotional burden.
i dread the day i step down.
i don't want to leave like this.
wounded and beaten down.
but i will hold my head high.
i will put on the eyes of defiance.
even if only for a few hours.
you wait.
just you wait.
wait for the hour of my return.
i am the daughter of the Almighty God.
i am the daughter of the Almighty God.
i am the daughter of the Almighty God.
Yea, and though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil.
If all the world and love were young,
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee and be thy love.
Time drives the flocks from field to fold
When rivers rage and rocks grow cold,
And Philomel becometh dumb;
The rest complains of cares to come.
The flowers do fade, and wanton fields
To wayward winter reckoning yields;
A honey tongue, a heart of gall,
Is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall.
The gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses,
Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies
Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten,—
In folly ripe, in reason rotten.
Thy belt of straw and ivy buds,
Thy coral clasps and amber studs,
All these in me no means can move
To come to thee and be thy love.
But could youth last and love still breed,
Had joys no date nor age no need,
Then these delights my mind might move
To live with thee and be thy love.
________________________________________
i want to write.
haven't written in ages.
a honey tongue, a heart of gall.
indeed.
my walls are coming up...it won't take long. i'm just waiting..for one more reply.
i'd rather things not be this way.
later.
yesterday, i saw the true meaning of what it meant to look at the Giver, and not the gift.
thank You.
i know i'm crying as i'm doing this.
i only have Your words to hold on to...they are more than enough. if i could tell You how much i would give up for You, if i had to go through this much pain for You, i would. i would do everything all over again. i want to be able to tell You, when the time comes, 'yes Lord, i will.'
'yes Lord, i will.'
how and when did i become so freaking emotional?!
no need to understand this.
i've always neglected emotions. always been a cold-hearted piece of crap. even in the way i worked, i worked with a male's brain; get the work done, all the feely feely crap can come later.
it was only when i was in the conference room when i realised two things:
1. i'm not the only female who works this way
2. emotions are important.
gee. took a rocket scientist didn't it?
we're going to have a meeting later, so why am i blogging about it now?
i just want and need to keep track of my thought process before i blow up later. likelihood of that happening? 80%.
emotions are important. they are so important. cuz we work with emotional creatures too. ironically, this goes for me too.
if i wasn't emotional, i won't care if a certain someone hasn't spoken more than the words 'so when's the mutiny?' to me.
if i wasn't emotional, i wouldn't have felt so defensive.
if i wasn't emotional, i wouldn't care even if she leaves a thousand times over.
if i wasn't emotional, i wouldn't have felt such intense anger.
if i wasn't emotional, i wouldn't have tried.
in that room, i could see reason. oh yes, reason indeed.
actually, come to think of it, it wasn't entirely reason. it was more of reality. the reality that no matter what we say, it doesn't matter anymore. they win, we lose, that's the reality.
sigh.
i hope i get angry later. cuz i do want to say things i've never heard myself saying before.
this coming from someone who has always neglected emotions.
'i bid thee, farewell.'
it was good while it lasted. but too bad.
i just wanna announce:
i think i've got the best leaders in the world.
woohoo!!! esmonde and ks rock man!!!
haha i'm off to study now.
cherios!
benedict
becky
charlotte
cheryl
chewiee
christine
dee
dexter
dom lao da!
esmonde!
elite
fabian
fei
fee fee leader!
gabriel BESTIE!
isabel best fren
jamie
joyce bimbo
joel
kumar big thing
kurseth cow
lynette
lydia
marli
mariam
mong
naturkey
ongah
pam
porky
pig pig
ruo en
ruffles
sarah
shuyi
weiying
wei tze
wendy
winson
ying mei!
yolanda
zhi xiang
Heart of God Church
City Harvest Church
Pastor Ulf Ekman
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