YOU have turned my life UPSIDE DOWN and INSIDE OUT. :)

Voila~!

And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
- Matthew 11:12

I will take it by force.

i'm counting on the fact that no one reads this.

investiture rehearsals.

memories come flowing in.
you have no idea.

i wish i had another chance.
'you're like a falling star.'
indeed.
like meteors, bright and fiery, only to hit the ground like harmless flies.
i've fallen from grace.

i wish i didn't have to end like this.
you have no idea how much is going on inside.
i tried, i really did.

we talked.
but you still seem like you're pushing me away.
you tell me how disappointed you are, and ask how different i am from **.
did you bother to ask me then?
how did it feel when you kept pushing me away, did you have any idea?
i kept asking, i remember.
but you didn't want to talk.
perhaps you still need more time.
i wouldn't know.
but i do have a question.
is our friendship merely based on work?
is it that delicate?

yes, i'm insecure.
i don't know.
i wish you and you and you would still talk to me.
i really do.
i still love you guys so so so so much.

i cannot afford my nightmares to keep recurring.
it reminds me too much of my past.
my mind can take it, but my heart can't.
and this time, i will let the mind take over.

i look at this council.
the newbies.
3rd students' council.
walk on.
walk on proud.
head held high.
i look at them and wish,
'if only i had another chance.'

i fell from grace.
and that one mistake can kill every good thing you've ever done.
sometimes, even the people closest to you cannot accept what you did.
sometimes they too, are unable to take the emotional burden.

i dread the day i step down.
i don't want to leave like this.
wounded and beaten down.
but i will hold my head high.
i will put on the eyes of defiance.
even if only for a few hours.

you wait.
just you wait.
wait for the hour of my return.

i am the daughter of the Almighty God.
i am the daughter of the Almighty God.
i am the daughter of the Almighty God.

Yea, and though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil.

loved by Jesus!

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