YOU have turned my life UPSIDE DOWN and INSIDE OUT. :)

Voila~!

And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.
- Matthew 11:12

I will take it by force.

Oh my goodness.

I'm actually blogging! *Gasp!*

I've been working at the preschool for some time now (almost a month, and that's the longest I stay at any company/ school, haha), and I have come to a number of conclusions.

How to Survive in a Pre-School 101:
1. Have your breakfast. If not, some little kid's gonna have to do without.
2. Tell yourself everything about a child and everything that comes out of a child is prestine clean. Everything.
3. Focus on the child's face while cleaning up poop. Do not focus on the poop. (This requires nostrils of steel).
4. To man a heart of love, to God a heart of fire, and to self a heart of steel. You will be scolded on a daily basis.
5. Look down. Good for you if you're below 1.35m in height, cuz you're working in Lilliput.
6. Tell yourself you're working in the Arctic. Cuz you're expected to look presentable (not like a cleaner, as I've been told), but it's the Sahara in there (no air con!).
7. Smile. You work with small people (i.e. parents who call and complain when they think you're not smiling at them, asking your boss to sack you).
8. Have a Christian boss (who happens to have mood swings..)
9. Have a Christian colleague (who happens to be from CHC!!)
10. Love kids. Oh man, you really gotta love em.

Occupational Hazards:
1. You will come back smelling of either sweat and milk (if you're down on duty for making milk) or sweat and poop (if your kids poop a lot in the day). On good days, you might not even sweat!
2. You CANNOT sleep any later than 12 am and be alive. And even with this, you needs loads of God in your life. This is the not-hazard-but-really-refreshingly-good part. haha.
3. You will have to auto-pilot when you knock off; have a good Friend (refer to no. 2)
4. You do not want to run into anyone after work, unless they really really love you.
5. You have to wake up at 6.30am every morning. I think that basically sums it all up...

Things I've learnt about children (okay, this comes from teaching 2 year olds and tutoring priamry school kids):
1. Girls cry, whine and eat really slowly when they're 2. Boys play, eat really messily and are really quite dumb.
2. Boys don't study and are really lazy when they're in primary school ( I have a student who's fat, ugly, lazy and stupid. How can anyone be all of that!? It just makes you a useless lump of flesh! But we'll talk about that later). Girls study and are really sweet when they're at that age.
3. Girls get into depression and slit their wrists when they're in secondary school. Boys still don't study, play around, and play around somemore then.
4. Boys are now uber sexed-up and willing to study. Girls are still studious (most of em anyway), more emotionally stable, but now run the risk of getting pregnant. Hmm.
5. Men make better bosses because they're less rigid and more easy-going. Women can be really really unreasonable and a complete *beeeeeeeeeeep* (for more information regarding this, please refer to the head honcho at Meridian Junior College).

Conclusion:
You should have a kid who's a girl at first, turn her into a male when she reaches puberty.

Other things I've realised recently:
1. Spongebob Squarepants is the most brainless show ever produced on the face of this earth. But it provides true entertainment when you're at your most physically dead, serving to induce much delirious laughter despite your most recent wishes to just be dead.

2. Yakult is addictive. Beware.

Oh and lastly..let's talk about my kids!

Playgroup/ N1 class:
N1
Kua Mynn:
Affectionately known as Mynn Mynn.
Has the saddest face in the universe.
Is really pretty.
Cries a lot
Very manipulative (things she'd do just to get attention, tsk tsk)
Will grow up to be a really whiney little girl (your typical 'i lub euu velli muchxx' type)

Sabrina:
Doesn't talk much.
Eats really really slowly..like food's her worst enemy. (Gosh, WHY?!)
Smart kid!

Damien:
Is the most annoying little boy (apart from that fat, ugly, lazy and stupid boy I talked about earlier).
Is really useless, cuz he's scared of water and bubbles
Cries at everything.
Totally pampered (his grandfather was the one who called and accused me of pushing him, not smiling and being angry with the boy. i think he was also the one who said i look like a cleaner. boo you!)
Probably runs in the family, cuz his mum accused another teacher of 'snatching' him away from her, and his father called up saying 'How could you do this to her? Do you know she went home and cried the whole day!?' (then keep your son at home la, he's not that wanted here anyway.

Playgroup
Jing An:
Is the laziest piece of nonsense in the group
Also the smallest and most baby-like
Looks like a little monk

Leroy:
Has an elephant called 'Ele' (pronounced ellleee!)
Is really cute when you dangle his 'Ele!' like a carrot stick
Messiest eater in the group

Shanice:
Is really pretty
Probably runs in the family; her dad's really handsome and her mum's really pretty.
Has a barney called 'Barney' and a barbie called 'Barbie girl' (we have to do a temperature check on them too...)
Quarrelsome (especially with Alex)
Smartest in the group

Alexandra Stone:
Affectionately known as 'Alex' (duh.)
Very adorable!!
Fattest and chubbiest in the group, also the most groovy (especially when it come to bath time..)
For an ang moh, she's really good at Chinese!

Shawn:
My favourite!!!
Absolutely handsome and adorable! He's got the hugest most innocent looking eyes in the world!
Parents are both doctors (say 'whooaaa' with me now..)
Makes the funniest noises
Newest kid on the block
Really really really really cute!!

Okay, I think I've written a lot. Smelling of milk and sweat now (guess my duty). And off to teach that that that....boy later. Yucks.

Ciao

loved by Jesus!

Whoa, it's been a loooooooooooooong time since I last blogged huh?

Anyways, for some exciting updates, check out www.RedRain.sg!

Yup! They are a Christian rock band from New Zealand, rocking their way around the world, and they're stopping by Singapore this 27-28 May! Don't expect hymnals or great pipe organs (these only look good in Vienna, trust me), Christian rock is way cooler. Plus, I heard the drummer is really good looking (yes, I've seen him before on two occasions, but do you honestly think I can tell who's good looking and who's not?) So anyways, the venue's gonna be at Kallang Theatre this year, msg me for tickets! And grab em quick, I'm running out.

Loads of things have been happening (some of which should seriously not be published on this nonetity of a blog, haha). Jus a quick update of my life, yours truly is currently working at a pre school at Telok Kurau (Eunos), called Little Fellow Childcare. Yeah, I teach two year olds. They're adorable, and they believe anything you say (I told em that when you see a fish hanging upside down, they should call the fish ambulance). You'd be amazed at what they can do with Lego! You know, they actually make spinning tops outta them?! Gosh. And they can poop out some serious stuff man...though that's besides the point. On good days, I come home smelling like milk. On bad days....go figure.

Got into NUS FASS and SMU Social Sciences too! Decided on SMU in the end, cuz if I go there, Daniel Goh will be my class mate! Haha! And he's hilarious. My life's mission this year will be to get him to pon lecture by November (he's never ponned a single lecture in his life), or you can call me ng liane. lol.

Okay, I guess that's it for now. Esmonde, Ks, Dom, miss ya loads, get outta army soon!

loved by Jesus!

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